the total: 19!!

it has been almost three months now since my summer began now it is the end of july and i totaled the count. i have slept in 19 beds since may 1st.  i could hardly believe it when i was laying in bed number 19 in california as counted all of the random places i have been able to sleep.  

it has by far been one of the most challenging summer’s i have ever had.  i look back to the past few months and realize this summer has been a lot like the summer of 2003, that was the summer that i had my back surgery.  (can you even believe it, it has been 3 years since that all happened).  i remember the feeling of perservance in 2003 and this summer i have used the word endurance to describe situations that i have gone through.  i feel like this summer i have been able to experience hebrews 12. i have been disciplined by God on profound levels. 

i always thought that the word discipline was harsh and full of disturbing correction.  but if you would ask me what i think today, i would tell you a very different tale.  i believe that his discipline is tender.  patient.  loving. and gentle. that has been my experience this summer, he has worked very hard to correct areas of my thinking, re-establish emotional boundaries,  challenge my work out routine and provide new depth to my search for was is true.  it has been painfully hard for me to walk through, because what happened was my grip was loosened and areas of my heart that were stubbornly controlling were corrected.  new perspective is what i have at the end of july after a thorough season of discipline.

i will hopefully never cringe at hebrews 12 again.  i will embrace it, because the process that i endured this summer has provided a new sense of ease and a spirit of invitation towards God’s correction.  because i am more like him now than in june.

i believe that the community of people that i was a part of this summer provided grace, patience, love and tenderness was a tangible representation of God’s heart. that is where healing took place.  it was in houses, apartments, condos and hotels that i found corrective healing from my Father.  he loved me well, in all 19 locations of rest he brought his refinement to me.

but do not get me wrong, i did my share of kicking and screaming along the way.